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20 Funny Snooki Quotes


Nicole Polizzi, better known by pop culture as Snooki, is a very funny girl. Made famous while on MTV’s hit show “Jersey Shore,” the pint sized “guida,” was always a favorite on the show for her wild and crazy antics and unusual vocabulary. She spoke her mind and didn’t care what anyone thought of her, even if it made her look dumb (which she did the majority of the time while on the many seasons of the show). She was one of the show’s main characters who was always up in the drama, which is probably why she got a spinoff show with her best friend titled Snooki & Jwoww on MTV.

Since the show first hit MTV in 2009, Snooki gained even more popularity after appearing on various talk shows. It’s reported that she received $150,000 per episode after the fifth season because the show was that popular at the time. Snook was actually born in Santiago, Chile and was adopted when she was just six years old and raised by Italian-American parents.

Since the show, Snooki has remained in the limelight and had a baby boy named Lorenzo with then boyfriend Jionni LaValle on August 26, 2012. Then on April 4, 2014, she announced that she was expecting a baby girl, which was born on September 26, 2014. She has since then married Jionni La Valle and continues to make appearances and do guest hosting jobs. She also was also on “Dancing With The Stars” back in 2013 and was guest hostess for WWE Raw in 2011 and even competed at WrestleMania 27 that same year.

Always one to give lots of laughs, here are some of the best Snooki quotes:

1. Hallelujah

“When I see everyone drinking with me, it’s like Hallelujah Hallelujah!”

Nicole Snooki

“When I see everyone drinking with me, it’s like Hallelujah Hallelujah!”

 

2. Trashy

“I’m not trashy, unless I drink too much.

Funny Snooki Quote

“I’m not trashy, unless I drink too much.

 

3. Last resort

“You know what, I’m not anyone’s last resort. I’m someone’s first priority.”

Snooki Quote

“You know what, I’m not anyone’s last resort. I’m someone’s first priority.”

 

4. Make out 

“Like what’re you doing? If you wanted to make out with me, just ask. I will say yes.”

Snooki Quote

“Like what’re you doing? If you wanted to make out with me, just ask. I will say yes.”

 

5. Too early

“When people function this early in the morning this isn’t real  life to me. I feel like it’s a video game.”

Snooki

“When people function this early in the morning this isn’t real life to me. I feel like it’s a video game.”

 

6. Kooka

“Burning your kook in the jacuzzi – Meatball Problems.”

Snooki

“Burning your kook in the jacuzzi – Meatball Problems.”

 

7. Problems

“Meatball problems!”

Meatball problems!

“Meatball problems!”

 

8. Love

“But I love him , so it sucks.”

But I love him , so it sucks.

“But I love him , so it sucks.”

 

9. Hate

“I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to be friends with you.”

I don't hate you, I just don't want to be friends with you.

“I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to be friends with you.”

 

10. Stuck up

“You look at me, you think I’m like a stuck-up b*tch, but yet, like, veterinarian, like that’s my soul, like I f*cken like, save animals, like that’s what I do.”

Snooki Nicole Quote

“You look at me, you think I’m like a stuck-up b*tch, but yet, like, veterinarian, like that’s my soul, like I f*cken like, save animals, like that’s what I do.”

 

11. Lobster

“That’s why I don’t eat friggen’ lobster or anything like that. Because they’re alive when you kill it.”

That's why I don't eat friggen' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it.

“That’s why I don’t eat friggen’ lobster or anything like that. Because they’re alive when you kill it.”

 

12. Fights

“I look over and see like hair being pulled and all this sh*t, I’m like oh my god, how do i get in?”

I look over and see like hair being pulled and all this sh*t, I'm like oh my god, how do i get in?

“I look over and see like hair being pulled and all this sh*t, I’m like oh my god, how do i get in?”

 

13. Nothing goes her way 

“Nothing goes my way, I swear.”

Nothing goes my way, I swear.

“Nothing goes my way, I swear.”

 

14. Tiny bitches

“Even though we’re tiny bitches, I don’t give a sh*t; I will f*cking attack you like a squirrel monkey.”

Even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a sh*t; I will f*cking attack you like a squirrel monkey.

“Even though we’re tiny bitches, I don’t give a sh*t; I will f*cking attack you like a squirrel monkey.”

 

15. Give you a try

“If you’re tan and have some sort of build to you, I’ll give you a try.”

If you're tan and have some sort of build to you, I'll give you a try.

“If you’re tan and have some sort of build to you, I’ll give you a try.”

 

16. Google it

“Everybody Google it, because that’s why the water is salty. F*cken’ whale sperm.”

Whale sperm Snooki quote

“Everybody Google it, because that’s why the water is salty. F*cken’ whale sperm.”

 

17. Makeup

“Who cares if a girl is caked in makeup and fake tan? If they feel confident that way then let them do whatever the f*ck they want.”

Who cares if a girl is caked in makeup and fake tan? If they feel confident that way then let them do whatever the f*ck they want.

“Who cares if a girl is caked in makeup and fake tan? If they feel confident that way then let them do whatever the f*ck they want.”

 

18. Talk sh*t

“I don’t care if you talk sh*t about me. Talk sh*t about me all you want. But if you talk about my girls, my boyfriend or my family, that’s when I’m gonna f*ck you up.”

I don't care if you talk sh*t about me. Talk sh*t about me all you want. But if you talk about my girls, my boyfriend or my family, that's when I'm gonna f*ck you up.

“I don’t care if you talk sh*t about me. Talk sh*t about me all you want. But if you talk about my girls, my boyfriend or my family, that’s when I’m gonna f*ck you up.”

 

19. Watermelon 

“It was like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.”

It was like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.

“It was like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.”

20. Story of her life

“I f*cked up…story of my life.”

I f*cked up...story of my life.

“I f*cked up…story of my life.”

 

 



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